3 TIPS FOR A THRIVING MARRIAGE

+50% of Marriages END IN DIVORCE

I am not saying it’s “MENS FAULT” but I have chosen to take FULL OWNERSHIP of my life. And I’d love to encourage you to do the same. It’s freeing.

It is true… I am the problem and I am the solution

I beleive MAN was called to lead woman (while you have the right to your opinion I have not chosen this as an opinion for myself- rather, a commandment from the Lord)

…This is a hot topic. Or even a “hot take” amongst many I share conversation with “are you saying my wife is not responsible for XYZ” no brother, I am not saying your wife is not her own person, living in her own sin. (Just as we are all subjected to) She should also take full ownership - but I’m not talking to her. Nor should YOU expect others to do things you aren’t doing. (Taking ownership) Can you see?

I am saying it’s up to ME as my wife’s husband to be constantly growing in my relationship with Christ. To be consistently leading myself and our home with Love, grace, integrity, humility and creativity (more on this shortly) if I do this well, my wife will follow. It’s natural.

Saturday night was an awesome date night. Actually, it was an afternoon into early evening. We are currently in the seasons of life that we enjoy going out at 3 and getting home by 7 or 8 haha. Hey, don’t knock it… there’s always an open seat at 4 p.m dinners and getting parking downtown is also way easier. (Feel like an old man saying this)

Into These Tips:

Let me first start by saying this… If you’re a dude reading this and you’re married or in a long term relationship you gotta OWN the fact that the romance of the first year can die off. Whats it called? The honeymoon phase? Especially when you are not proactive with it. Now add a couple kids into the mix, youth sports and full time careers and there’s but little time for romance, connectivity AND creativity in your relationship. It’s bogus though, just an excuse. And not one we should be making as men. Certainly not one I am willing to make.

TIP # 1

MAKE THE PLANS!

Seriously, make all the plans. Get the child care situated. Give your girl an experience- not just a date! What good is going on a date if she has to make all the arrangements of child care, where you’re going, what you’re doing- etc! LEAD!!! Now, I must say, for this date on Saturday, my wife handled the child care. She reached out to her wonderful parents who offer up their time to hang with our son, anytime we ask. I know Linda (Ashley mom) is reading this. We love you Nana! Thank you for being the best “Nana’s 4 ;)

Tip #2

GET CREATIVE

My wife

Ashley Homol

was like “what are we doing?! Where are we going?!” I said “let’s go downtown then go from there” Naturally she started looking places up on her phone. I said “let’s just get there- pretend we are tourist, exploring the city. We’ll get appetizers and beers at as many cool places we can find” Ash loves this. She loves to be spontaneous and adventurous. She calls it “being WILD” haha

I remember years back we found a spot we really liked, and like most things I really like I do it over and over and over and over and over…. TILL I RUN IT INTO THE GROUND. She said one day “babe I love that spot but what you do think about trying something else?” That hit me. “Ahh, I’m not being creative in our dates. It’s up to me to LEAD this. I want to lead in our romance.” I took it on the chin “that’s right, good idea- let’s spice it up!”

Tip #3

TIMING

Timing on dates matter. I’m not talking about frequency either! (Though, that matters too) but the actual TIME we go on dates changes the vibe of the date. Sometimes, we do “day dates” that looks like us going on a day hike in the woods or hanging out at the park. These are such intimates way Ashley and I have been able to connect over the years. Other times, we doing morning dates. This typically looks like a coffee shop conversation. Or a coffee and neighborhood walk. We have some of the best chats over a cup on coffee while the sun is coming up. This also breaks up the monotony of “dinner dates” It sparks totally different conversations and energy.

DoHardThings

Take ownership, make the plans, be creative and lead!