It Ain’t Going Well

“I’ll take a double, no, make it 5!” My espresso order this morning

I woke up at 4:45a.m to realize my wife wasn’t in bed. She was in the living room, cleaning up dog poo and pee. All over the couch and rug. Deep cleaning, then bathing the dog. Spike is in his late years and has been have seizures. It’s been sad. You can see it on his face too, he’s hurting. We all are.

I’ve got a long list of “superficial” problems that have been stacking & trying to take your boy out.

-family being sick since Christmas (everyone better now tho!)

-Nagging leg injury

-Spike (dog) in his last months =(

The list can go on and on….

These circumstances keep closing in on me… I keep getting knocked down with something new everyday.

In a world that projects only the GOOD online… I’m keeping it real with you. We are neck deep in the chaos.

BUT CHECK THIS OUT!!!

Not once have I lost my integrity…. Stone cold composure* My wife says “you have so much space for us… you’re Strong. Steady. Even”. Thats dope to hear… but it ain’t just me holding it up

This morning my wife had EVERY REASON to be angry/ frustrated with the situation.

I say “thanks for doing all this babe”

She says “of course babe. It’s what we do. We are in this together”

IN IT TOGETHER!

You know how easy it would be to get frustrated with one another JUST BECAUSE of the CIRCUMSTANCES? You know how easy it would be to throw in the towel, get angry or be in shit mood all day?

NOPE

We bounce right back up!

Not once has it been “woe me” energy in the home

I’ve lived enough life to know that there will be season that I fall… but never a season I don’t get back up.

Anyone can have integrity when life is easy. But who am I in the storm? In the midst of this storm I feel like I’m walking on water.

I’m not trying to keep it all together. Whatever chaos is happening, it does not have the ability to tear me apart. There’s no defensive energy.

The Lord is providing rest in my soul. My mind is clear and my heart is open

All these circumstances closing in (our family) but theres never been so much peace in our home. Never so much love. Never so much laughter. Never so much light!

A few months ago…

My wife put up bible verses all over the home. Every place I go I’m reading verse. Our son Ambrose loves worship music. We listen to it all the time. We read the good word (all the time) and share with one another. The enemy may be at our door step but the LORD of light is living in our home.

We Keep Holding It Down

Staying armored up with the word. Jesus himself used scripture to fight the devil during his 40 day fast. We are doing the same.

My wife and I provide space for one another… a time to reset “Ash, I’ll hold in down. Go get some time to yourself” or “Zach, go get some time in the woods- I got this!”

KNOW YOUR ENEMY*

I’m not her enemy. She ain’t mine. Remember… we in this together! If you want to win a battle you must know who you’re fighting*…

The subject line of the email “it ain’t going well” & thats true in the sense of our circumstances. They are real to us and we accept that. We must never lie to ourself or suppress what we are experiencing. But when it comes to what really matters…

-Our Spiritual Health

-Our Relational Health

We have never been better.

All is well… all is well

Do Hard Things*

-Armor up. Know your enemy. Prepare for battle. Stay cool man* this too will pass. Lead by example.

With Love

-Zach