Are You Training Your Mind to Be Weak?!
what is optimal?
When was the last time you did something just because it was hard? Not because you had to. Not because someone was paying you. Not because it was the “optimal” or “efficient” way. Just because it was hard, and you wanted to see what you were made of.
The Efficiency Trap
I’ve been watching fitness Twitter for years, and there’s this idea that’s taken over: “less for more.” The message is everywhere: “3-4 workouts a week is enough. 45 minutes max. Work smarter, not harder.” And here’s the thing… they’re not wrong. And thats a large part of why the messaging is so popular. I myself am one who is consistently promoting CHECKDOWNS and the effectiveness of a short workout. Especially during seasons of life that are packed full.
A Quick Note On Fitness
If you train hard (intensity up* going to failure on reps ranges) 3-4 days a week, walk 10k+ steps daily, and eat protein-dominant foods, you’ll look good. You’ll be healthier than 80% of people. BUT YOU ARE LEAVING SO MUCH ON THE TABLE.
A Real Problem
This “path of least resistance” approach isn’t just about fitness. It’s training your mind to avoid challenge. It’s training your being to look for easy— short cuts. There are paths of least resistance- but I often question if one can find such path UNTIL he’s been down the hard path— and even so— one must not enjoy the comforts of ease for long before his mind goes soft. When you constantly seek easy, when hard arrives, you won’t know what to do. You will crumble under the challenge.
It all begins and ends in the mind.
Do You Find Yourself In Any Of These Examples?
- You optimize work and workouts but avoid the difficult conversation your wife/friend/family member/co worker
- Meal prep perfectly but fall apart when work gets stressful. Or create unnecessary stress around holidays and eating. It’s an obsessive behavior— possible control issues intertwined as well?
- Have the energy to run ultras but no time or energy for kids/wife?
The problem isn’t systems. The problem is you’ve trained the mind to avoid discomfort. YES… even those of us who ARE training— and doing physically hard things*
There’s Another Way
There’s untapped confidence, personal power, and ability in each of us. The only way to access this is by pushing past what you perceive as possible. I call it **DEEP WATERS TRAINING.**
Deep Waters Training Examples:
- “I only need to train 3 days a week to maintain this body… but I’m going 5 to train this mind”
- “I only need to run a 5k to keep my heart healthy… but I’m signing up for a marathon to see what I’m made of”
- “I could do the minimum… but I’m choosing to do more because that’s where I’ll find out who I really am”
-“I’ve ran 10 ultra marathons but have missed at least 5 of my sons recents game” (see his hard thing is not RUNNING… it’s running LESS so he can be more present with the family)
-“I’ve made millions but haven’t had a connection with my wife in years” - another example of accomplishing a “hard thing” but avoiding the REAL* hard thing.
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Alright, alright, alright — Back on track…
Why This Matters
Deep Waters Training is more for the mind than the body. It’s more for the soul. It’s— deeper than the surface. It pushes us past what we perceive as possible. It shapes us in ways we could not imagine because we never dared to.
-In some of these approach’s you will get better physical results.
-Other times you will have to give some physical progress off the top so that you can be a more present parent, husband or friend.
-Other times you will have to learn to be content with the number in your bank account so that you can be the husband (or wife) that you significant other deserves.
But in this process, you’ll learn something more valuable:
When you voluntarily choose difficulty, you’re building something that can’t be measured on a scale or in a mirror. You’re building unshakeable confidence. You’re proving to yourself that you can do hard things. NOT just the HARD THING that you’ve gotten really good at!
For example… deadlifting 500 is not hard for me. Anything physical is not “hard” for me— sure In competition I can push myself into the depths of HARD… and on the day to day I am challenged by my efforts. But it’s not my “hard thing” I never want to avoid fitness because I love it. My hard thing is saying nothing when I want to say everything. My hard thing is staying present with my family when I want to build my businesses. My hard thing is putting the phone away at a certain hour each day and giving my kids the same energy as I gave to my work all day. -I’m just keeping it real with y’all! And if you been following you know— I’m over 30+ days this year NO PHONE! I’ve been 4 weeks of off-grid camping with my family. I’m locked in! I’m doin (just ok) with saying LESS when I want to say more. I’m doing alright with the no phone times… I’m a work-in-progress per my standards… In the fight with you*
Another side bar… once you know you can do hard things in the gym, you start believing you can do hard things everywhere else. Fitness is often the catalyst to personal growth in other areas of life. So when in doubt— push yourself physically! But, if you’re the fitness guy and YOU KNOW that it is not your hard thing— you must be honest with yourself and start asking what it is that you have been avoiding. Go lean into that. Take those lessons from fitness and let it bleed into the next area of your personal development.
The Compound Effect
Here’s what I’ve noticed: The guy who runs 6 miles when he only needs to run 3 is the same guy who:
- Has difficult conversations instead of avoiding them
- Stays disciplined during stressful seasons
- Doesn’t crumble when life gets hard
- Leads his family through challenges with strength
(It’s not about the extra 3 miles. It’s about training your mind to choose difficulty when you could choose ease) You can exchange the example with whatever your hard thing would be— The idea is going the extra mile when it be easier to stop.
A Challenge
Look at your current routine. Where are you taking the path of least resistance?
Maybe it’s:
- Doing 3 workouts when you could do 5
- Walking 8k steps when you could walk 12k
- Stopping at “good enough” when you could push for great
- Not Stretching when you’re body is telling you it needs it
-Working overtime to avoid family time
-Being short fused with those who matter most to you
-Being selfish…
Pick one area. Just one. And step into deeper waters. Not because you have to… and it doesn’t need to be optimal. We are doing this for different reasons than that. It’s because you want to step into the person you can feel* that you are being called to be. The enemy wants you to believe that easy is better. But you must subdue it and be its master.
DO HARD THINGS
Master your hard*